My ex gf (20yo) rebounded with a pregnant poly couple (late 30s). She first said it was casual, but after I showed back up they're telling her they're committed and in love, after just 2 months. They'd pursued her for at least a year, and moved in when we split, and she said she went to them for comfort. She'd never expressed interest in that lifestyle before. She says she still loves me and wants to see all three of us, but I am not ready for that. Is this normal poly behavior, or her confusion in an emotional time?
I’m of the opinion that in 99% of cases, if someone is an ex, they’re an ex for a reason, and it’s generally unwise to ignore that reason and get back together. It doesn’t really matter why she’s doing any of this, because you don’t need to be part of it. I’m not psychic; I can’t tell you whether she’s confused and moving too fast, or whether she does know her true feelings and has fallen quickly and unexpectedly in love. That’s her business, and time will tell whether this is the beginning of a deep love or an intense fling born of need and turmoil. But either way, it’s not a situation you want to be part of. She’s your ex, and you’re ‘not ready’ for the new relationship she’s proposing - so don’t get re-involved. Wish her well, be gracious, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that there’s some way of looking at this where she’s totally correct and this would be happy, healthy, and fulfilling for you. She can be confident in her choices without that having any implications for what’s best for you.