There's an age gap in my relationship, but it's not causing any of the problems Zinnia often cites - is it a problem anyway?

I am 19 and with a married couple about 10-15 years older. They are at a different life stage and have different responsibilities than I do as a college student. Your posts make me think the age gap might mean I should step back, but they have always been respectful of my own priorities and never put me in a position to handle expectations I am logistically or mentally unsuited for. They have no real power over me as I am not dependent on them for any of my resources. Should I rethink this?

The thing about humans is that we’re all unique and complex! There are almost zero hard and fast rules that can be applied in a blanket fashion to everyone. It’s not that age gaps are always or inherently Bad News, but that they call for Serious Caution.

And it sounds like you are exercising that caution! You seem aware of the potential dangers and like you’re in this relationship in a self-controlled and clear-eyed way. I wouldn’t say that you need to rethink this, but definitely keep on thinking it. Know your needs and boundaries and keep a running dialogue with yourself to check in on whether anything is changing or slipping.

If something is fun and happy and safe, then go for it! Hold yourself and them accountable, continue articulating what you do and don’t want, and enjoy dating that older couple.