i really want a triad but i dont want to wait to date and im scared of being mono… I know I’m not looking at this the right way. help?

Single people can tell you - it’s hard enough to find one person you click with, so if your preferred form of a relationship is larger than a couple, the difficulty seems to increase exponentially. Fortunately, we live in the future, where there are plenty of dating sites for people looking for other configurations, from the gimmicky 3nder app to OkCupid, where you can be as clear as you want in your profile about what you’re looking for.

I’m a little confused about your issue that you don’t want to “wait to date” and that you’re “scared of being mono.” Dating, whether you’re looking to be a monogamous couple, a polyfidelitous triad, or anything else, has to happen organically. It takes patience and effort. Sometimes you spend a while as a single-who’s-looking. Sometimes you spend a while as a couple-who’s-looking - that doesn’t mean you’ll accidentally end up as a mono couple, it just means you need to wait and look for the third who completes you. Sometimes you meet two other people and you click first as friends, then as romantic partners. As long as you’re sensitive to your needs and others’ needs and intentional about your practices, it’ll fall into place.