I'm lost in my connections atm. My current partner and I have a nesting relationship with his wife and two kids. This situation has lasted for over 2 years. I have two ldr partners as well. My nesting situation has been filled with empty promises, lack of commitment, and metamour jealousy. My nesting partner tells me I'm the only reason he has pulled through the last two years, but I feel like I'm slowly trapping myself and I don't know if it's just anxiety. The kids see me as a second mom and I'm the main pet provider too. An ldr has wanted me to move in for over a year and I feel like the kids, pets, and my job are the only reason I haven't. Am I wrong for feeling lost and kind of tired living this way? I don't want to lose my nesting but I feel like we shouldn't be nesting partners anymore.
You are absolutely not wrong for feeling lost and tired! Think about this like a big information gathering experience. You moved in with your current partner, his wife, and their two kids. You learned that you are great with the kids and the pets, and that there are things you like about this nesting situation.
But you also learned that there are things that don’t work for you, and that a relationship with your partner and/or his wife will include broken promises and jealousy and other things that you do not want in your relationship.
It is now okay to act on that information! You are not obligated to stay in a situation even if parts of it are working, or if other people are relying on you. The fact that you like some parts of the arrangement doesn’t mean you need to put up with the rest. Leaving will be hard and painful, but something being difficult doesn’t mean it’s the wrong thing to do.
Take the next step in your information gathering journey (because that’s all life really is). Allow yourself to collect data on how your relationship will change when you leave the nesting situation and how you like living with someone else in a different arrangement. Then, continue to act on the best and most recent information you have. That’s all any of us can reasonably be expected to do!