one of my partners and I broke up a little while ago. I feel like she is doing so much better at finding happiness especially with herself while I have had like 2 good days in about 2 months. Am I weird for taking so much time and still struggling?

Two months is not a long time to get over a breakup, so don’t beat yourself up for still feeling down. There is no “weird” or “normal” way to grieve the loss of a relationship. 

Remember that “we see other people’s Highlight Reels, but we see our own Behind the Scenes.” Especially if you’re getting this information mostly through social media or what she chooses to put out there, you are definitely not getting the whole picture. People do a good job of sending the message that “I am so happy with my life and myself!!!” when they are in control of what gets shared. Here is a powerful article about this (tw suicide mention). So don’t compare your day-to-day, internal struggles with the momentary victories she chooses to share.

It may also be true that she is having an easier time finding joy and confidence after the breakup than you. That’s also okay! People are different. Instead of feeling like you’re “failing” in comparison to her, try to focus on yourself instead. Are you better now than you were two months ago? Some things to try:

• Focus on your own mental health first! Consider looking for and working through resources on getting over a breakup or increasing satisfaction with life 
• Visit with a therapist, counselor, or life coach about finding happiness with yourself
  
• Start a gratitude journal where you list 3 things daily that made you thankful or joyful (this sounds so cheesy but it really works)
• Do something just for you! anything from a fancy shower wash to a mental health day off work to watching TV with your favorite snack
• Reach out to your support network of friends and family to let them know you’re struggling and ask for help
• Unfollow her on social media or otherwise limit your exposure to the information about her life that’s driving these feelings

You will get through this, I promise! Sometimes things just feel bad. It sucks, but it’s part of being a person who has relationships and feelings and life.