I'm a writer looking for insight into polyamory

I'm a writer trying to portray a polyamorous triad between my three main characters. Is there any advice you could give about how these feelings develop?

As far as I can say, romantic and sexual feelings develop for triads about the same way they develop for pairs. It's unique to every individual, but there will be those butterflies, flirting, trying to suss out mutual interest, etc. that you typically see in a budding romance. Then, forming the triad will take some communication and intentionality, but there's no special secret ingredient that goes into polyamorous attraction. 

I've answered a similar question here, and I recommend checking out my FAQ page on polyamorous representation in fiction, as well as my general resources on polyamory here.

Some other writers have put together guides on writing polyamorous characters - remember that people can only speak for their own individual experiences, so be informed and intentional and never rely on one single source!

Some FAQ-answerable questions

This girl that I've been friends with for years asked me to do a threesome with her and her boyfriend, who I've come to like as well (not sure how much I feel for him yet). I went through with it and it went really well. I hear polyamorous relationships are like equal love triangles where each two love each other. I kinda want to bring up the topic with them. But I'm afraid that I'm just lusting after her boyfriend since I don't know him as well. Can polyamory be one girl just having 2 loves?

Yes, that is called V-shaped polyamory. In this case, the girl you're talking about would be the center point, or "hinge," of the V, and you and her boyfriend would be the other points. You're both romantically connected to her, but not to each other. There are lots of ways to be polyamorous and practice polyamory - check out my resources here.

So, how does polyamory work? I know it’s a relation with more than two people, but after that I don’t quite understand. Do the three or more people all love each other romantically (and possibly love each other equally) or is it where one or the other first two people each date separate people (those separate people don’t live the other of the first two)? Or, could it be both ways?

Both arrangements that you're describing fall under the umbrella of polyamory. To learn more about the first style that you described, try searching for the terms "closed," "triad," or "polyfidelity" in the context of polyamory. For the second, try searching for the terms "hinge," "V-shaped polyamory," or "polycule" in the context of polyamory. Check out my resources here.

Mental Health Resources →

Polyamory & Mental Health resource list!

I am finally getting around to making some resource lists for this blog!

I get a lot of questions about mental health/mental illnesses and polyamory, and I’m always telling people to seek therapy, but I never do much to point them in the right direction!

So here is a list of polyamory related mental health resources! Everything from finding a poly friendly therapist to self-help worksheets on issues relating to polyamory. Plus, lots of non-poly-specific mental health resources as well. 

Now I have a one-stop-shop I can point people to when they ask me a question relating to mental healthy and polyamory. You’re welcome, future me!