Is it possible to stop being polyamorous? I haven't had good luck with dating other women, I'm married and the past 2 gf's I've had turned out to get feelings for my husband and basically toss me aside. There was also cheating, lies, and I honestly don't want to go through that again. I still feel capable of loving another person but if I never date another and stay mono to my husband am I still poly? I'm just confused and not sure if I ever want to risk getting hurt again.
If you don’t want to date other people right now, or ever, that’s totally fine. If you feel that means you’re no longer polyamorous, that’s fine. If you feel that you’re still polyamorous but choosing not to practice polyamory or don’t feel like acting on those feelings, that’s fine!
If a straight woman has a series of bad experiences dating men and decides to take an indefinite break from romantic relationships and be happily single, she can still identify as straight - she’s just choosing not to date men. She doesn’t have to, though - she could conclude that, although she’s capable of sexual-romantic attraction to men, her lack of desire for such a relationship makes that identification no longer useful or applicable or relevant.
You should do what’s best for you. You can be a polyamorous person in a monogamous relationship. You can be someone capable of loving multiple people who does not indulge, act on, or pay much attention to that capacity. You can be a person who had active polyamorous desires and no longer does, for whatever reason.
Or, you can be a person who doesn’t identify as polyamorous or monogamous - you’re married, your relationship with your husband is what it is and it’s working, and so it’s not super necessary or useful to come down on a relationship orientation. Identity labels are there to serve us, not the other way around - if you’ve already found what works and you know what you want and how to get it, then labels are entirely secondary.