My metamour is divorcing my partner, which made my partner absolutely heartbroken. How do I comfort him through this? Should I just ask what I can do to help?
Yes, your instinct is correct that asking him how you can help is a good first step. Since I don’t know your partner, I can’t speak to what would be comforting to him. He may want to talk about it, or he may want a space where the divorce is not a huge part of his world; he may want lots of cuddles, or he may want more time alone than usual. Follow his lead!
However, people who are deep in grief or stress can’t always clearly ask for what they want or need to feel better, so you can also be a bit more proactive in supporting him. Doing small favors that take things off his plate - things like taking care of cleaning or household chores that he usually does, filling up his gas tank, bringing him his favorite foods, etc. - can really help.
You could also ask if he would like some help managing the nitty-gritty of the divorce process. Sometimes that can feel overwhelming, so if you’re up to it, he may appreciate help communicating with lawyers, dealing with his ex, and handling the little bureaucratic tasks that could be piling up as a result of this very painful process.