Hello. I was wondering if there are any good indicators of liking in idea of being poly vs identifying as poly. I’m a 17 year old queer girl who’s never been in any sort of relationship so I don’t have any experience to draw from. I’ve only known of poly relationships by reading about them (both fictional and real life accounts). I’m not actively looking for a relationship (and I’m not fully out as queer) but if there’s any advice you can give, it would be appreciated.

Being a person with a body and sexuality and relationships and feelings that don’t always fit into neat boxes can be hard and confusing, but also fun and awesome! 

Experiment at your own pace and in your own way. Try out different relationship styles with different people. Get to know yourself and your body without other people in the mix. Read things that inspire and confuse you. Learn what is healthy and fulfilling for you. Take that and leave the rest behind. 

You can like ideas without needing to incorporate them fully into your identity right away, or ever. It’s okay to identify as something for a while, and then grow into something new. You don’t have to decide for yourself exactly what you are right now. In fact, you don’t have to decide that ever! Identity is never carved into stone, and anyone who gives you shit for not dragging around a giant stone with identity labels permanently carved into it is gross and toxic. You are always free to grow and change.

It’s not about knowing what labels fit you best or permanently. It’s about living into the most healthy, joyful, whole version of who you are.