Hey, I was wondering if I could ask for some advice? I’m 17 (f) and have only recently thought about my sexuality and stuff like that. I’ve had two boyfriends (one current) and each time I’ve really struggled with the idea of being committed to one person. Like this isn’t a reflection on them, I just feel like I need more than one romantic/sexual relationship in my life (and just don’t like the idea of being exclusive to one person). Does this make me polyamorous?
You very well might be! I also had feelings like that when I dated high school boyfriends, and didn’t understand much about what they meant. I chalked them up to being young or not having found “the one.” When I learned about polyamory in college, it was like a light switch went on. You are lucky to have the opportunity to explore these ideas when you’re young!
You might be poly, you might not - seventeen is a time for self-discovery and exploration. Read up about polyamory and build up the vocabulary and skill set for trying it out, then try it out! Remember that whatever you identify as at seventeen doesn’t condemn you to a lifetime of certainty. This is a time for figuring things out, so don’t worry if you don’t feel 100% sure about whether this is right for you. The stakes are low at this age: no kids, no shared mortgages, no moves for your partners job. So experiment, learn, and get to know what’s safe and healthy for you as you grow into a sexual being.
You may meet some challenges with people your age - not many 17 year olds have the knowledge or the maturity to try polyamory, and your peers may be confused and even judgmental, so be prepared for that and know that in a few years you’ll be better placed to find people you click with. In the meantime, be very very careful about seeking older partners, even via the poly community.