I am a married man mid 50’s and really want to bring another person into our relationship. We have done this in the past but it was on a more casual basis. My wife has zero interest and it doesn’t matter to her if it was a male or female she has no interest. I’m feeling like the years are slipping away for this type of fun and would like to do this again. I am not interested in leaving my wife we are just different in this respect please give me some advice.

If your wife has “zero interest” in doing this, and you are not interested in leaving your wife to pursue this, it sounds like you’re at an impasse. There are no magical words I can give you to say that will change her mind.

You might want to ask yourself why you feel drawn to bring another person into the relationship. If it’s about reinvigorating your sex life, talk to your wife about some things she might be more willing to try that interest both of you. If it’s about additional companionship, consider trying to make close friendships with other couples that aren’t necessarily sexual, but could be intimate in their own way. 

Remember that all relationships require some sacrifice. If your wife one day decided she wanted to move to a tropical island and open a coconut smoothie shack, and you really wanted to stay with the home and life and career you’ve built, one of you would have to budge or you’d have to split up. All relationships hit big decisions at some point - this is a hard one to make, but you’ve got to make it and commit to your choice.

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