I am in my early-early 20s and have never been in a relationship; I’m realizing now that part of my aversion to romantic relationships has to do with monogamy, and I think I’m polyamorous (I’ve third-wheeled with friends on dates, and it felt… really right to me, somehow.) I’m really new to exploring this idea. My question is this: can one know that they are polyamorous without having been in a monogamous relationship first?

Can one know that they are gay without having been in a straight relationship first? Can one know that they want to be a teacher without having tried a career as an investment banker first? Can one know they want to live in Alaska without having lived in New York City first? Of course! You do you!

Take it slow, do your homework (I recommend reading More Than Two and The Ethical Slut), communicate openly about your inexperience, and be grateful you’ve figured this out so early in your dating career! Go forth and be poly!