Is it okay to identify as polyamorous even if I’m arospec-ace, have gf and a qpp? I kinda feel like I don’t quite ‘qualify’ if that makes sense.

I’m not the identity police! I don’t bestow or rescind anyone’s rights to idenfity a certain way. And here’s the secret: nobody else is, either.

As long as you’re not hurting other people or making a community look bad - like abusing someone and calling it kink, or cheating on someone and calling it polyamory - what you decide you are is nobody else’s business. The last thing an already marginalized community needs is fracturing and infighting.

Be careful of people who make you feel like you have to “qualify” for an identity. Be wary of those who police the boundaries of communities by shaming others and narrowing definitions to fit their needs. There’s a lot of that on tumblr, and plenty of it in the LGBTQIA+ community, so please look out for your own sense of self and seek out communities that build up relationships rather than critiquing and categorizing them.

Remember that hearing someone else say something, no matter how loudly or strongly or absolutely, doesn’t mean you need to absorb it into your worldview. You are who you are, and you don’t need my or anyone else’s permission to be that.