I want my wife to date other men. I talked her into having sex with other men before and it was great but now she is hesitant.
Usually, if someone has to be “talked into” doing something, it means they don’t really want to do it. Sometimes, they may discover that they like it, and they may be glad for the push. But most of the time, that’s not the case. And clearly it was not “great,” since she doesn’t want to do it again.
Your wife did everything she could be expected to in this situation. You wanted to try something new sexually, and it sounds like she was willing to try it out, even though it wasn’t something she was personally excited about. Now that she’s tried it out, she’s learned that it isn’t something she enjoys.
That’s it, that’s all the information you need. Stop pressuring your partner to do something that they don’t want to do. If she needed to be “talked into it,” and now she’s “hesitant,” you have plenty of information. Listen to what your wife is telling you, which is “no.”
If this is something you can’t live without in a relationship, you need to make some serious choices about continuing the marriage. But if you want to stay married to your wife, you need to drop this. She tried it, it didn’t work, so stop trying to force the issue.
Think about what gets you off about your wife having sex with other men, and whether there is a compromise that can be found. Maybe watching porn or fantasizing together could scratch that itch. But please wait a while before even bringing up an attempted compromise, and if she says no, you need to take no for an answer and not wheedle or whine or try to “talk her into it.”