Hello! I'm not sure if I qualify as poly and I guess I'm wondering what does or doesn't. I'm happy in my current romantically monogamous relationship, but I'd be happy to try adding another person to make a throuple if it came to it and all three of us had feelings. My partner and I are also casually open sexually. What's the line between 'open relationship' and polyamorous?
There is no high court that deems you worthy of “qualifying” for the label of polyamorous. There is no exact checklist of qualities you must measure up against in order to claim a certain term.
I think our current culture has gotten way too worried about how best to use these manufactured semantic tweezers and microscopes to try and define and categorize anything and everything. The purpose of language, including identity labels, is to serve us in finding tools to live healthy, happy, fulfilling lives. Period.
If identifying as polyamorous helps you in some way, if it gives you more access to resources that you need, if it allows you to more clearly communicate about your needs and desires, great! If not, great! Ultimately it doesn’t really matter what you call yourself as long as you’re able to effectively navigate the world and manage your relationships.
To actually answer your question, generally, people say that the line between an “open relationship” and “polyamory” is that an “open relationship” implies a central or primary relationship with casual sexual openness, while “polyamory” includes multiple committed relationships. But everyone has a different definition of what a “primary relationship” is, what it means to be in a “committed” relationship, what “casual sexual openness” looks like in practice, so it’s really a useless definition.
Read more on this subject here.