some lovely fanmail

I don't usually publish letters that don't have a question, but here are a handful of lovely notes from lovely readers! If you like my blog, please consider supporting me on Patreon!

Just want to say I'm relieved to have found this blog. It has been a week since I realized I am polyamory and this blog is helping me to understand this new bit I just learned about myself. I can't believe I'm 26 and going down another journey of self-discovery ahahaha I thought I was done with it after realizing I was bisexual, but apparently not. Just thanks for existing!

I'm so happy for you, and glad my blog could help you on this journey of self-discovery. I've known I'm polyamorous for most of my life, but realized I was bisexual at age 27, so we're in this together!

Hi honestly i just wanted to message you again and say thanks i left my partner a few weeks ago and honestly its probably the best thing i ever did he was incredibly possessive and used his own insecurities to control me he made me miserable but i was stuck because i didnt want to hurt him. Now im much happier i have my one boy who doesnt make me cry and im so happy but without you without your blog im not sure i would have had the courage to do it or even to see it for what it was. Thank you.

I'm so, so happy for you! Hugs kudos for having the strength and courage to leave a relationship that made you miserable. Never stay with someone who makes you cry! 

This isn't really a request for advice, but I just wanted to say that thanks to your blog my boyfriend has gained a better understanding and acceptance of polyamory, and this week he and my other boyfriend and I all shared a bed for the first time (non-sexually) and it was just really nice waking up between the two people I love most and seeing them interact with each other in a healthy and loving way. I hope our relationship continues in this manner.

This is so lovely! I love cuddling up with multiple partners/metamours, and I'm so happy my blog could help you and your boyfriends make this happen for yourselves and each other!

Not an ask, but just wanted to say thank you! I just started my first poly relationship and your blog helped me so much in understanding and articulating my feelings.

I love hearing things like this! Understanding and articulating your feelings are SUCH powerful skills, and you should be super proud of yourself for developing them.

REMINDER: Comments are now open on the main site, www.askpolyamory.com! Check out the commenting rules, and come join us! 

positivity post!

i’m trying to do more of these - i always love getting fanmail and happy messages. i never used to post them before, but the world is just so sad and scary these days that i figured why not spread the love?

when you see this, tell someone something nice! a coworker, a blogger you follow, someone from your past you’ve been meaning to re-connect with, whoever.

also, i’d like to go on record stating that this blog loves steven universe and thinks everyone should watch it forever. please always feel free to use SU character names instead of letter initials in your questions!

I love you even more now for making that Steven Universe reference! :D

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Just wanted to say I think this blog gives great advice. I’m beginning to think of myself as a polyamorous person, and it’s nice to see such a caring community helping people understand and navigate their relationships. No response is required, just saying thanks for doing what you’re doing.

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thanks for cultivating such a supportive helpful and healthy blog, it feels like it would be necessary to help people navigate non-monogamy, so I’m glad you’re doing it

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I love your blog, it is very helpful and you do a great job running it! :)

positive “not a question” messages!

sometimes I get happy fuzzy nice messages that are not questions, and I don’t usually post them, but we could all use some more love in our lives these days, so here are three happy messages I got recently!

hey there :) not really a question just wanted to show my appreciation for your work answering questions. You are always so eloquent and insightful. I really admire how you answer all these really loaded questions with such elegance.

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I know this isn’t a question, I just wanted to share my joy somewhere :). I just had a lovely cuddling and playing video games sesh with my boyfriend and his boyfriends

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I hope this doesn’t clutter your ask box. I just wanted to say I appreciate this blog so much! I love that most of your responses center around independence and communication. what I think of when I come across a poly (or general relationship) issue is: I want to be able to do what I like, and I really want you / you all to be able to do what you like. let’s see how we can all have as much freedom and autonomy as possible! so, thanks. keep doing your thing <3 <3

friends & followers: if you want to send me love or fanmail or happy poly anecdotes, definitely always do that! it is not a problem or a cluttering of my inbox, it always makes my day! (people who send me angry aggressive criticism never seem to worry about that lol)

meanwhile i’ll try to do more to spread the joy around. please take this moment - if there’s a teacher you remember who made a positive impact on you, send them a note; a customer service rep who was friendly, call their manager; a blogger or twitter you appreciate, send them a nice message; a coworker whose work you admire, leave them a note. it really can make someone’s day!