I get really bad at compersion whenever my self esteem is low. What can I do to work towards changing that?

You know what the source of the issue is: your low self esteem. So work on changing that, not only for the sake of compersion and your partners, but because everyone deserves to have a healthy level of self esteem!

If you aren’t already, the best thing you can do is talk to a therapist about this! That’s what they’re there for - to help you be your best self and live a life that feels good. 

A book that really helped me with self esteem issues is Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Different things work for different people. Poke around the “self help” section of your local bookstore and see what jumps out.

Try thinking about what makes your self esteem dip, and working on that. Self care, journaling, spiritual rituals, going outside, reaching out to friends and loved ones - whatever works for you to lift that self esteem in a healthy way!

Again, getting outside help is so great, if you can make it happen. Whatever’s making you feel down on yourself, get a professional to help you get things under control. Whether that’s a life coach, a nutritionist, a house cleaner, a financial planner, etc. If you are a religious person, talk to a clergy member at your church; if you are a student, talk to a counselor at your school. If you are employed, see if your employer or insurance offers certain self-help services. You don’t have to do this alone!