I’ve been in a poly relationship with two people for just over a month, but I’m beginning to feel like I’m only attracted to one of them. Every time the other comes into our space and tries to insert themself into displays of PDA or flirts with either of us I get… Really annoyed? I don’t want to feel this way because I’m sure they like me but I honestly just feel sick thinking about having to be with them romantically. But I love my other boyfriend and I don’t want to upset them both…

It’s unclear from your letter whether the other two people are dating each other or not, but either way, if you don’t want to date someone, don’t date them. If dating someone you don’t want to date is a prerequisite for dating someone else, then don’t date that other person. It sucks, but there is really no good reason to be in a relationship that isn’t working for you.

If you think it’s just the behavior that’s bothering you and you could rekindle some of your attraction to the frustrating partner, talk to them about it - ask them to tone it down, be specific, and give them a chance to change the behavior rather than letting the resentment and annoyance just simmer indefinitely. But if it’s really just that you don’t want to date this person, that’s fine - don’t date them.