Can you be polyam in theory? What I mean is, I don't think I could actually be in such a relationship because I get jealous too easily with only one partner but I really like the idea of having more than one. I'm so confused.
Absolutely!
If you’ll permit me to get on a bit of a soapbox, I think there has been a strange shift in the discourse around identities over the past few years, and people have become obsessed with pinning down the exact term for exactly who, and what, they are.
But it doesn’t really work that way. Plenty of people are “mono in theory,” in the sense that they like the idea of being in a committed relationship, but don’t currently feel ready for a relationship. Plenty of people think they could probably be happy living on an island off the coast of New England, but don’t have any plans to leave their whole life and move to one tomorrow.
If you’re happy with your relationships as they are right now, then you’re fine. If you like daydreaming or fantasizing about something but know that it wouldn’t work for you in reality, then you’re in good company with the rest of the human race!
You may want to do some self work or even therapeutic work to address your jealousy in relationships if it’s causing you distress or if you want to start exploring non-monogamy, but you’re not obligated to do that. You can see polyamory as “cool, but not for me” or even “cool, but not for me right now” - and that’s completely fine.