If you’re still trying to figure out whether you identify as poly, or whether a polyamorous relationship would work for you, that’s okay! If you can picture yourself in a polyamorous relationship or a monogamous relationship, or if you don’t yet have a clear picture of what a relationship would look like for you, that’s okay!
If you need a term to describe yourself in the meantime, this blog and others have come up with a few:
- bipoly
- polyamorish
- polyflexible
- poly-curious
- werepoly
- poly-mono
- me, figuring myself out & doing what’s best for me right now!
There is no Official Checklist For Determining Polyamorous-ness - but I can point you to resources to help you think through it all.
- Open Relationship self evaluation from Opening Up
- Coming out to yourself as polyamorous
- How I discovered I was polyamorous
- An intro to polyamory
- CNN article on polyamory
- Atlantic article on polyamory
If you’re young and/or you haven’t had many relationships, but you’re still pretty sure that you identify as polyamorous, that’s okay! You can start your dating life as a polyamorous person - but be aware that it can be hard to find younger people who are open to the idea. You may be tempted to date older people because they’re in the poly community, but be very very wary, as that’s often how predators find people to take advantage of. It is okay to be single when you’re young and figuring things out, so don’t rush!
Poly Advice posts on this:
- Can I know I’m poly if I haven’t been in a mono relationship?
- I’m 17 and struggle with monogamy - could I be polyamorous?
- I can imagine myself in a mono or poly relationship - what am I?
- I flirt & get crushes when in relationships - am I poly?
- I fall for multiple people, does that mean I’m polyamorous?
- I identify with descriptions of poly, but am in a mono relationship - help!
- I get bored in relationships, does that make me poly?
- I’m 16, how do I know if I’m polyamorous?