hey im a 15 year old in high school and i would really like some advice on this one thing.. okay so i just broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months. i loved him more than he loved me, blah blah blah. after the break up, i wasn’t all that sad about it. and i started liking this other guy, who also liked me. so we became a thing, i guess. we never actually dated, but we told each other personal things and kissed and called each other cute names. this lasted for about a month, then he said it was going to fast and he needed space. so i guess he kind of broke up with me. that was 3 days ago, and i already like someone else. and i feel like complete shit because of it. idk if it’s alright or if it makes me a horrible person. what’s your opinion?

You are not a horrible person! You are fifteen. Being fifteen is a time for fun, a time for experimentation, a time for learning who you are and what you’re all about. Kudos to you for enjoying what you had while you had it and then being able to appreciate the next good thing when it was time for something to end. Being independent and able to move on from breakups is a good quality to have, especially when you’re this young.

Dating for 8 months feels like a long time in high school, but as far as relationships go, it’s pretty casual. At your age, relationships are based on passion, excitement, experimentation, and novelty. It wasn’t like you two had kids, got married, or lived together - in the grand scheme of things, your level of commitment wasn’t super high. And that’s how things should be for high schoolers! They should be fun without requiring massive amounts of pressure or commitment.

We’re all familiar with the girl-who’s-been-through-a-breakup trope, from songs and movies and other media. The Ben and Jerry’s, the sobbing in bed, that sort of thing. But just because an image is prevalent doesn’t mean it’s the most healthy or normal response to a situation. You’re at a time in your life when it’s normal and healthy to move quickly between relationships, to harbor lots of crushes, and to not make emotional investments so deep and lasting that you’re destroyed when they end.