Hey there. I need some advice.I recently made my monogamous relationship into a V, and I’m a bit concerned with how to to find balance. Like sleeping arrangements and new years eve kisses. I live with my boyfriend and my girlfriend want to move in. Any advice would be amazing!

I know I’m always saying that polyamory takes hard work and intentionality, but in my experience, the kind of balance you’re talking about sort of works itself out. Especially if all three of you get along well enough to move in together, you’ll find a way of being together that feels easy and comfortable and makes sense. Don’t worry too much about finding the exact perfect algorithm for who to kiss when and under what circumstances.

As always, keep the lines of communication open. I live with two of my boyfriends (who are not dating each other, both are hetero), and we make things work. Both are good about letting me know if they want to see more of me or plan special time together. Sure, I technically only have one birthday, but there are enough days in the week for everyone to celebrate.

Good luck! Let things fall where they may - you don’t have to divide your time or physical attention exactly 50/50, and remember to make time for group chill outs as well as personal time for yourself.