I am 19 years old and I recently started talking with a guy, who is 7 years older than me and happens to have a kid from a previous relationship... I really like him but I don't know if it is normal. Should I run away?
Yeah, my advice is not to date this dude. You’re at completely different stages in your life, and you’re going to have different values and needs. Probably best to keep your options open and stick to dating people in a more similar situation as you.
I am a 27 year old and my cousin she is 15 but not blood cousin i just claim her as one and so is her boyfriend. I like them but I don't want to get in trouble since they are under age. What do I do since they both like me?
You are in your late 20s and these people are minors. You also see each other as family. Together these facts indicate that it would NOT be safe, healthy, or even legal for you to enter into a sexual or romantic relationship with these people.
You are the older adult, so you need to manage this situation with responsibility. Be clear with these two young people that while you support them having healthy, happy, and fulfilling polyamorous relationships with others, you will not be engaging in that sort of relationship with them because it is simply too high risk for everyone involved.
Set firm boundaries and, if necessary, take distance from them until this crush passes.
My partner and I generally tend to be attracted to the same types of people, but sometimes when I find out how young someone is I'll start to feel nervous about my partner continuing to spend time with them. I know he doesn't have any sort of predatory or otherwise ill intentions, but we are almost 25, and I'm worried that someone else might get the wrong idea about seeing us hanging around an 18/19 year old who's still in high school. Is this a valid concern, or am I over thinking it?
It is a valid concern. I am of the belief that partners should generally be at “relatable” stages of life. If someone is in high school and living with their parents, and someone else has their own place and a full-time job, there is a power difference and a life experience gap that can very easily become problematic. The younger person may become dependent on the older partner for certain freedoms or may rely on the older partner to define what is normal in relationships. That’s dangerous. And one wonders what the partners talk about or do together when they have such different daily lives and priorities.
There are always going to be exceptions, and I’m sure I’ll hear about plenty of them after publishing this. There is nothing necessarily predatory about a 19 year old in their last few months of high school, with a job and a lot of independence, dating a 24 year old who just left college and is in a similar stage of early adulthood. Since the dating pool for polyamorous people can be smaller than average, it’s common to expand your ‘accepted’ age ranges a bit beyond what your average monogamous person might. But there is no “list of acceptable reasons for people with this kind of age gap to date,” and if it’s making you feel concerned, you should listen to your gut.
In general, if you’re not a high schooler, you should not be dating someone in high school. I share your concerns and agree that you and your partner should be seeking out people whose lives are more aligned with yours in terms of priorities, independence, and daily experience.
I'm 18 and I've never actually dated someone, and this 26/29yo couple wanna date me. I knew the 26yo's kids for a year and a half when they lived right by me, but never knew their dad. Met him and after an hour of talking I said how I hope to have kids like that one day, and found out he's their dad. Turns out he's got a boyfriend, and they both wanna date me. I'm wanting to, but I have 0 dating in real life experience. The kids are 4-10. He pulled strings at work and got me $110 of perfume. We have our expectations for the future line up just right. I already love him, but how would I get to know 7 people? They're where I'm hoping to be in 10 years, not 2, but they're great people, just older. What are good things to talk about when getting to know someone? What should I ask about their relationship? What should I ask regarding the age difference?
Do not date these people. They are much older than you, and in a completely different stage in their lives. They also have a strongly established couple, which adds to the power dynamic. "Pulling strings" to get you expensive stuff is a red flag for grooming behavior. You do not "already love" this person; love grows out of a long period of commitment and intimacy, which you haven't had yet. Especially with kids involved, it will be way too easy for you to get quickly sucked into a situation that won't be healthy for you.
You're 18 - date people your own age. Let your future grow organically and make choices based on what you want without hitching your life to people with very different priorities.
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I’m in a poly relationship with an older man (30) and I’m 18. We have experimented with BDSM type of things, such as him dominating me and bondage. A lot of emotions come with this for me because the sex is very intense. Recently I’ve been feeling sad about our relationship. He never tells me about his other partners when I ask about them, and he often doesn’t answer my texts and bails on our plans. I’m worried he’s just taking advantage of me to do BDSM things and I feel like I’m being played.
If you feel like you’re being played and taken advantage of, RUN. You don’t ever need to stay in a relationship that makes you feel sad or let down.
Sadly, it is all too common in the BDSM and the poly scene for older people to prey on younger people, because they don’t yet know what their rights are or how to stand up for them. This situation that you are in is not your fault - you did not “let” him do anything. He is abusing the implicit power he has as an older person, and that is not okay.
It is totally fine to want to experiment with BDSM and polyamory, and many people do find older members of the scene to teach and guide them. But this man is not a healthy partner for you, he is not teaching and guiding you, he is using you.
You deserve better, and you can find better. You don’t have to settle for this guy. He may have told you all sorts of things about himself, and about yourself, but you don’t have to believe them. If you are interested in BDSM and/or polyamory, you can find healthy, fulfilling ways to learn about them at your own pace. Please cut this guy off!