I have been dating this guy since august and I’m so in love with him. But the problem is we are going off to college, and I can either stay at a good college and figure out how to make it work with him, or I can go to NYU (which I’m not sure I even like I just know it will let me have a great career) and leave him behind completely. But he makes me so happy and happiness is the greatest thing in life and all a good career can get me is money, and money isn’t worth throwing away happiness. Idk?

I think you’ve set up a false dichotomy between “money” and “happiness,” and you may be setting up an over-simplified prediction about what each choice will lead to. Your college doesn’t guarantee anything about your career, and your career doesn’t guarantee anything about your financial security - it’s not as simple as the formula you’ve laid out where “stay with boyfriend = relationship = happiness” vs. “go to NYU = career = money.”

Don’t limit your college choices based on a boy. Consider all the factors. You need to figure out whether going to NYU is something you really want, independent of the situation with the person you’re dating or your projections for your post-college future. Think about the experience at college that you’ll have if you stay close to home vs. go to NYU. Are there professors there you’re really excited to work with? Is there a program you would gain a lot from? Does the social and cultural climate there seem like a good fit for you? Would you end up with significantly more debt?

Many, many people don’t remain with their high school sweethearts and still find happiness. Also, you can “figure out how to make it work with him” even from NYU. I went to college far, far away from my high school love; and we ended up breaking up, but we got back together and now we live together. A lot of people leave their high school partners and meet new people in college, and that’s okay too. You might go off to NYU, realize you’re not happy there and part of the reason is that you’d prefer to be closer to your partner, and transfer back closer to him - but at least you checked it out and you made an informed decision. You might end up deciding to go to a school closer to home because it turns out to be the best choice for you academically and socially and financially, but break up with this guy early on for unrelated reasons. Who knows! Not me! Not you! Your future is yours to make - be sure you’re considering all aspects of your life, not just your romantic partnership.

Ok. Little bit of a dilemma here. And idk who to ask for opinions but here I go. I’ve been dating this guy for a yearish technically idk we broke up then got back together and we are really in love w th each other (I know it sounds really really cheesy) and we’ve talked about our future together (yet again super cheesy) and I’m still in high school and he’s almost done with it and he’s my 2nd boyfriend and I just feel like I will regret only dating him my whole life and idk what to do

Let me tell you two stories:

When I was a sophomore in high school, I started dating a boy in my class. We dated for about a year and were very serious about each other. We talked a lot about our future together. He even “proposed” to me and gave me a very beautiful promise ring. We broke up my junior year of high school. We don’t talk anymore.

When I was a senior in high school, I started dating a boy from another high school. We never talked about a “future together” because I knew the relationship was doomed to be a high school fling, since even if we were going to the same college (we weren’t), high school relationships don’t generally last. I figured we would have fun while it lasted and break things off when distance or immaturity got the best of us. We’re still together and have lived together for the past 3 years.

The thing about relationships is that you never really know what they’re going to become. You aren’t in control of the future, only the present. If you’re together today, be with each other today. Be in the relationship as it is right now - that matters more than whether you’ll be together in a year. Some people will tell you that high school relationships don’t last. Other people will tell you that if you think you’ve found “the one,” you should hold on with everything you’ve got. Neither piece of advice has much nuance to it, though.

Your feelings for him right now are strong, and real, and exciting. Channel those into your current relationship rather than trying to predict or nail down the future. Maybe it’ll last, maybe it won’t. Worrying about the future only distracts from the present. Do what’s healthy and fulfilling for you right now and trust your future self to make the right decisions too.

Im a young girl. I don’t know if i want to try poly life style or if I just want to try new things. Im only 16, but i have seen dating or having a relationship with one or more people at a time as a very normal thing.

Sixteen is the best time to try new things. The best time! You have nothing to lose, and your only job is to have a lot of fun and do your best to grow into an awesome person. That’s it! You have no kids, no mortgage, no marriage, no car payments - nothing weighing on your decisions, no obligation to anything besides “is this something I want to do?” So go for it!

You don’t have to decide now whether you’re Officially Polyamorous. You can experiment with your sexual identity - you can experiment with every part of your identity! - and nothing you do, choose, or try at 16 needs to be permanent. (Most of it shouldn’t be.) You don’t have to commit to being poly forever if you want to try it out now. So read up on polyamory, find some willing fellow 16 year olds, and have a blast. 

It may be that you’re genuinely hardwired for polyamory, and you’ve figured that out at a young age. It took me a lot longer to recognize it in myself, but once I did, a lot of thoughts and feelings I had in high school made more sense. It may be that you’re just young and don’t want to be monogamously committed to just one person, which is completely reasonable as well! No matter what, you should always follow what makes you happy and never feel pressured to behave or identify a certain way.