Is there a virtual community for polyA? A group chat on tumblr or a discord server or something like that? Asking for a friend.
There is not one - there are dozens and dozens! Here is a list of discord servers focused on polyamory, and my FAQ page here links a number of online communities. There are polyamory-focused communities on reddit, FetLife, and just about everywhere else that people congregate.
As in real life, remember that every group of people is unique and has their own communication style, quirks, and challenges. Often, online communities amplify these issues. Be careful about taking any community’s rules or attitudes as gospel.
Some communities have declared certain words or topics off-limits or have very strong beliefs about specific ideas, and while it’s polite to abide by the rules of a specific space, that does not mean that you are inherently wrong or immoral if you disagree. If you feel unwelcome, you are free to leave!
Be aware of the way that different culture building and moderation practices have an outsized effect on online communities. Stay away from ones that seem to run on shame, us-vs-them, or endless cycles of conflict. Remember that disagreement and danger are not the same thing, and that an excessive emphasis on “felt safety” can backfire.
Do not mistake online communities for group therapy, and avoid groups where “venting” about very heavy mental health topics is a primary mode of communication. Go in with an intention (to ask questions, get advice, make friends, have fun) and if you’re not getting what you need, don’t get sucked in - just leave.
