A note on posting frequency:

Hi all,

I took a bit of an unannounced hiatus over the past few weeks - I was camping with some of the youth I work with, and working out some complicated life issues regarding my career. During that time, I got a number of messages (with varying degrees of politeness) about my absence.

I am honored and overjoyed that this blog helps people and is meaningful enough for its absence to be noticed. I am so grateful to everyone who reaches out to me for advice and so humbled that all of you trust me enough with such personal and complex issues.

That said, this is not a paid gig for me, and I have a full time career, plus a couple of part-time gigs. I do my best to keep the queue stocked, and I feel awful about any lapses in posting.

Please know that if I don’t answer your question immediately, it’s not personal. I get a large number of questions daily, and am unable to answer every one as soon as I get it. Many people send me time-sensitive questions asking advice about impending situations, but I cannot promise that I’ll get to those in time.

Some people send me follow-up messages expressing shame, frustration, or abandonment when their questions aren’t answered. I feel awful that I can’t help everyone immediately, but please, don’t assume that an online columnist’s ability to respond to you quickly is a reflection of how worthy, interesting, or loved you are. I love and care about all of you, and I wish I could be present 100% of the time to be a guide and a listening ear, but I can’t.

If you are having an immediate mental health crisis, please call 911, your therapist, a trusted friend, or a hotline. 

If you have a rude or hurtful comment about my blog and whether it meets your preferences for updates, please go outside, take a breath, look at a plant, and direct your energies to something positive.