Hi there.. im not polyamorous, but i hope you will help me anyway. My bf and I have been together for about 2 years, but im struggling with wether or not to stay with him or not. I love him, hes my first bf (im 19) but sometimes i just dont feel like i wanna be with him. I dont miss him when hes not there, and i get really annoyed sometimes when he says some things. We also dont really match and we’re so different. But at the same time i really struggle with letting him go…i just dont know what to do
My friend, LEAVE THIS GUY! You didn’t name one thing that makes you happy about him, one thing he adds to your life. Don’t get stuck in “relationship inertia” where the effort it would take to break up makes you go “enh, not worth it.”
Very few people stay with their first partners, and very few people spend their lives with the person they’re with at 19. You are way too young to be passing the days miserably with someone who doesn’t match what you’re looking for an annoys you. Sometimes we get so caught up in the idea of having a partner that we feel like a mediocre one is better than none. That is a lie! Leave this dude and free yourself up for solo adventures and a better partner for you on down the line.
“This just isn’t working for me” is a totally fine reason to end a relationship. He doesn’t have to be a bad guy to be a bad partner for you specifically. You don’t need to have a spectacular fight or prove in some cosmic court that he’s a bad guy. If you’re not feeling it, leave!
Plus, it’s not really fair to stay with him for no good reason if you don’t really like him - set him free so he can find his match. You two don’t work well together, and that is totally fine. End this relationship!
Think about why you’re struggling with letting him go - is it a feeling of obligation to him, a fear or being alone, not wanting to face the drama and hassle of a breakup? Whatever it is, find ways to work through that reasoning - read some girl-power self help books, chat with a life coach or therapist, get advice from someone in your life that you trust - and then get out of there!