I’ve been with my partner for 4.5 years now, and we have lived together for the past 3 of those. About 1.5 years into our monogamous relationship, I engaged in a few cheating episodes before finally admitting to my partner what had happened. I wanted to be with him, but also couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to connect with others too. I shared that I would like to move forward as a polyamorous couple as I can’t see these particular desires of mine changing anytime soon.
Initially, he was distraught about the cheating, but wanted to stay with me to work through it all - expressing that he might be able to come around to being a Polyamorous couple in time. 3 years has passed since this initial first conversation, and our relationship has become incredibly toxic over time. He keeps shutting me down and saying he wants us to both be monogamous now.
This sense of resistance has turned him into a violent, reactive person over this past year especially. Recently we have had the most explosive, violent argument since we’ve been together. As a result I’ve moved back home to my parents house 1 hour away, to stay safe. I can’t be dishonest to him, or myself - I am Polyamorous in nature, at this point in my life, and I want to be able to live authentically.
Do I need to confront this abuse and work through it with him, or should I leave? Should I stay in hopes of him healing his issues and coming around to live polyamorously with me, or should I let him go for good, knowing that this situation is causing him way too much pain to go on?
Do not stay with this guy. Things like “working through abuse” and “staying in hopes of him healing his issues and coming around” are not smart or healthy, and they do not end well. Once someone has been so violent with you that you need to go somewhere else for your own safety, that relationship is over. It’s not just that the relationship is causing him too much pain, it’s “abusive” and “toxic” to you. Leave and stay gone. Check my resources here.